july 2010 - love blue

wow...i am shocked yet delighted to know that this blog is still functional. but after such a long duration of neglect, probably nobody is reading it anymore. haha...but that is fine, it gives me space to post my thoughts which need neither feedback nor answers.

let's see, it's been 2 years since i posted the last blog. much had happened but i don't remember the details (sign of aging i guess) =P the most significant event that happened to me was that i got engaged and married. it was a great event of my adult life. it's also a great accomplishment and blessing in a sense to have had found someone to share my life with.

it's over 6 months now since the marriage. reality has settled in that i am no longer all by myself to roam around freely. but a good relationship (whether before or after marriage) takes hard work and constant efforts. i find myself needing to adjust my expectation all the time because i am too idealistic to begin with? but without much luck, the same issues keep recurring. i don't think i have changed, or have i? but i just don't feel the same amount of affection. it's been on the slide. there are so many sad parting out there...i know i am far from that, but i can't say i am content with my marriage the way i have wanted/wished it to be like. i feel our emotional exchanges unbalanced . when i try to hold back, it is so obvious that it totally stops (sigh)...

but like someone had said, as long as the time you are happy is more than the time you are unhappy, then that's enough. i am sure i am more happy than unhappy even if nothing happens. i am tired of bringing up the same things over and over like a cry-baby that i want more attention and affection, but i hope a change of conditions later on will help reset our relationship.

i am realizing more and more differences between men and women which i thought were juvenile or bogus before, but slowly i have to admit that the norm out there somehow exist in my own home, even at a lesser degree.

hope all the couples out there appreciate each other and hold dear those sweet quality moments. otherwise, you are so far away even though you are just next to each other.