i wrote him

Dear (Big boss),

Please regard this email as a personal correspondence between you and me.

I was a bit shocked when I first saw your email asking for a weekly report and plan. But I took a few moments to realize your need in better knowing what I am involved in since I do not directly deal with you at work on a regular basis. And it is of course not a difficult task to fulfill for both you and (the right hand woman's) benefits, which I am willing to do from now on.

But I would like to express to you that, on the other hand, I find the reason behind this request demaning and undignified. For I have tried my very best to follow the rules and do my work, and working hard even overtime when needs arise, I feel that my ethic and integrity of work, or as a person, is being questioned and scrutinized. I would not have written you this email to express to you such strong sadness if I did not find myself crying over such small matter. I rarely cry but this really hurt my pride and feelings.

I am not sure what you response may be, but since I am your student, I would like to be honest with you.

Please excuse me for being immature or unskilled, I am willing to learn and improve and do the right thing. But at times, I find myself helpless.

Aloha

demeaned

recently one unfortunate thing after another at work had depressed me- mostly due to one particular person, a manipulative and powerful woman. it's amazing what a woman can do sometimes!

today i was asked from my big boss of a weekly report of what experiments i conduct and what my plan will be the week to follow. it makes perfect sense to me for him who wants to know what is going on which cannot be provided from her. i find having to report to a 2nd level demeaning, my work ethics and integrity questioned.

i am especially emtionally perturbed because i feel wronged for having tried the very best to be responsible and hard-working. i asked for no reward, yet i ask not for questionings.

this is what i would really want to say to my big boss:
if i were to express my feelings regarding your request of a weekly report to be demeaning and undignified, but at the same time i find it is of my own benefits because you can no longer rely on your right hand woman to be responsible of what i do, of whom i was supposed to be supervised under!

should i write to him?

white hair

feb 16, 2007, at the age of 27, i got my very first white hair. the hair was half pigmented and half white--silver white. i had been stressed, but didn't realize i was THAT stressed.

life's short, black hair day may also be over soon...so cherish our youth!

Desperado -- i feel like one these days

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
You been out ridin' fences for so long now.
Oh, you're a hard one,
But I know that you've got your reasons.
These things that are pleasin' you,
Can hurt you somehow.

Don't you draw the queen of diamonds, boy,
She'll beat you if she's able.
Know the queen of hearts is always your best bet.
Now it seems to me, some fine things,
Have been laid upon your table.
But you only want the things that you can't get.

Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no younger:
Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home.
And freedom, oh freedom,
Well, that's just some people talkin'
Your prison is walking,
Through this world all alone.

And don't your feet get cold in the winter time?
The sky won't snow, the sun won't shine
It's hard to tell the night time from the day
You're loosin' all your highs and lows
Ain't it funny how the feeling,
Goes away?

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, and open the gate
It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you,
You better let somebody love you,
You better let somebody love you,
You better let somebody love you,
Before it's too late.

wave riding

no word can describe how i felt when i stood up on the surfboard today! it was an awesome feeling to experience that, which i purposefully came to hawaii for!

CFS

sometimes i feel like i have chronic fatique syndrome. is it a real thing, or just a modern way of dealing with unorganized life style?

grad school is no easy work--but much is learned for sure.