rejection #3 mayo clinic

yesterday i received another rejection notice, this one was from mayo clinic. for the past two rejections, i wasn't feeling too bad. but with this one, my heart sank. until i talked to my two cheerful buddies at work, i felt better. i knew, i knew i still have 6 letters to open, 2/3 more to wait for. i am learning to be hopeful and be calm.

may peace be with me! :

screaming~~~

well prepared i had every piece of document sent in on time, or even way before the deadline. i wrote to individual school to check wheather my applications were complete. now i just received a notice saying that my letters of recommendation are missing. i can possibly guess that the receiving personnels didn't file my documents properly. all i want to do is to SCREAM, since i can't afford to throw plates (j/k). things like this are so common but then how much probability and serendipty does it take to have everything go smoothly? it's not my fault, but i will have to arrange additional letters to be sent out and have my fingers crossed that the school receives them and file them properly. i only represent a tiny fish in the ocean. i am sure others have their bigger frustrations. may zen give me inner peace!

rejection #2 albert einstein college of medicine

today i received my second rejection letter from albert einstein college of medicine. somehow i have learned how to prepare myself before opening a mail. superstitiously i believe a thin (i.e. one page content) envelop entails bad news.

however, it wasn't a pure rejection letter. it has some positive comments and suggestions. it's a rejection with grace and constructive suggestions. so i am not all that bitter after all. maybe because i still have 7 more chances...we will see.

besides my own rejection wave, some people around me are rejected for other matters...so i learn once again, life is filled with trials and errors. we have errors only because we have tired...and that's a totally positive thing. let's try again, girl friends!!! =) we will get what we want sooner or later.

weird dreams continue...

last nite i dreamed again but it wasn't too weird so i wasn't going to write it up, BUT...after work i was too tired so i took a nap (because i dreamed all nite instead of sleeping) i dreamed again and it seemed that the dream last nite was the preview of my dream this evening so i will just put them all down here.

dream (fragment) #4 from last nite
all i remember was that i was crusing in a SUV with a bunch of strangers who seemed to be visiting from out of town. we were touring in a city but i can't tell where exactly?!

dream (fragment) #5 from this evening
i just woke up from a power nap and found that my house was packed with strangers. it seemed that someone (maybe my roommmate in the dream) was hosting a party. there were so many people in my house that i even had to line up to use my own bathroom. while waiting in line, i met these strangers and for some reason, it felt like i had seen them before so we were just trying to figure out where we might have met each other. but we didn't know each other.

some time later, seems like the next day

some of these strangers were touring the city (again i can't tell where we were) and since i was free, i went with them. i didn't know where they were going; sometimes they seem like one group, sometimes they seem not. while they were exclaiming at things that they saw (the city scene was all new to me too?) i just laughed and exclaimed along. at one point i asked one guy where they came from and he said they were visiting from Milwaukee Wisconsin; seemed like they were on spring break or something. on the way we also saw some other people riding on a double deckers (tourists) so we all hurrahed together.

then we arrived at destination #1 so we all got off the bus and people just went to different places in smaller groups. i ended up with this one girl. we didn't talk much. but i was really amazed by the place. it was something like a japanese outdoors garden with natural springs and stuff. there was even an indoors spa hut where you could go in. the front door to the spa hut was made of some thin japanese sakura see-through pannels. the outside was even misty to the point like it is sprinkling.

people were running around and i was with the girl...she was waiting for someone

i then woke up, feeling very confused. what are making me dream so much lately? and why these bazarre dreams?

any analyses are welcome!

weird dream #3

i dreamed of something strange again:

i had lunch with mag at a resturant. i asked mag to go up to the cashier to pay while i finished up my food. i gave her my wallet and she pulled out my credit to pay. when the cashier asked her for an i.d. for verification, they saw that she wasn't me from the picture. so they thought she was fraudulent and wanted to straighten things out with her. i quickly ran up to the counter to explain and be there for my credit card and i.d. verification but still the cashier was still giving us a hard time. slowly behind the counter came the owner of the resturant and he appeared to be a feminine and beautiful man. while we were shocked with what we saw, s/he spoke in high pitch with an artificial female voice. s/he was a tranvestite or perhaps a transexual!!! s/he was trying to harass us into some xxx business so that s/he would leave us alone. of course we refused and my "alarm" got us out of the resturant!

mm...i wonder how many more wild dreams i will continue to have? it's like watching movies =) but they are distrubing = (

weird dreams

i had two weird dreams last nite...

dream #1
i was pregnant and about to give birth. my mom was going to be my midwife...but she was pregnant too, and it was my other baby she was carrying for me. she was gonna help me with my delivery before she delivers hers. how WEIRD!!! but i don't remember seeing the babies in my dream. i just saw the table and hot water etc.

dream #2
i needed an organ transplant. strangely i met the person who was going to donate part of his organ to me (i forgot which part i needed), but even more strangely, he needed a part of my heart. i didn't know i was going to donate part of my heart, and i didn't know one could use only a part of a heart...and how weird is it to be donating to each others? who is he anyways?

anyone knows what these dreams may mean? i dreamed all nite so i felt terrible this morning. when i woke up i could feel my surgical wounds hurting--one in the middle of my chest and one on the side?!

maybe it came from the movie "the manchurian candidate" that i watched last nite? how weird...

rejection #1 univ of rochester

finally here came my first graduate school application response letter. University of Rochester rejected me. this is...rejection #1

i wonder what the rest would be. i'm getting more and more antsy each day.

but i have asked the superior spirit to decide for me, to make my decision very easy for me. maybe there will only be one for me to "choose" from. i wouldn't be upset because i have already chosen!